Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I like fish

Stress. Not only do I find stress at home as Don tries to finish the amazing data website for all meteorology geeks (and I try really hard not to distract him and Dave from their very important work, even though I'm lonely), but I'm also finding it more and more at work. Can't go into details about work stress, but let's just say that I probably won't be there in a few years...and not necessarily because it stressed me out to the point of leaving. Is that vague enough for you?

Don't get me wrong, most days I love my job. Teaching the public about meteorology, a topic I'm passionate about, is wonderful. I also love that by giving emergency managers the tools and the knowledge they need about weather, I can help them save lives. What is more rewarding than that? The days I don't like are the stressful days (obviously) and the long days at my desk.

Feeling a lot of guilt in other aspects of my life (yeah, those few people who read this know that this is a constant battle for me)...too many things to name here. Anyone else would just let these things roll off their back and keep going, but when I'm tired and lonely, I tend to find more fault with what I do, or don't do. For one thing--keeping up with friends. Funny thing--the lonelier I get, the harder it is for me to pick up a phone or to send an email to a friend. It doesn't help that most of my closest friends live so far away...we can't do much together anymore. I'm finding it hard making new friends, especially since I'm between the worlds of most of my acquaintances--the Singles/Unmarried and Married with Children...I just can't relate much anymore (though I can relate more to the first category than to the second). The few old friends I have in this area are all male, which means I can't hang out one-on-one with any friend...which strains or at least weakens the friendship. Not only that, but most of them are still in grad school--a completely different world than the one I'm in now. I can "chill" with Don's sisters...but they're quite busy, especially Jen (her first child was born 9/15 this year :-) ). Dave and John, two of Don's best friends, are at our house a lot of the time, but are usually here to work on business things...so I'm not supposed to disturb. I can't tell you the frustration of seeing and hearing people in the house, but not being free to talk to them!

So, it's really back to the cats as companions "thing". It's not perfect, but they are at least happy to see me, especially Tangie, who never wants to leave my lap. Rita is still living in a cage (yes, over a year later) because we can't trust her. Hopefully we'll be able to get a tone collar, so that she can stay in the living room for a while, without constant supervision.

As a de-stresser (and cat "toy" and home decoration...), I have been putting together a 46 gallon bowfront aquarium. So far, I have four corydoras catfish (paleatus or peppered cory), some anacharis (pondweed), flame moss, and dwarf sagittaria subulata--all plants are alive (for now). I had forgotten how great a de-stresser the cories are--they bounce all over the tank as though they had not a care in the world. I once heard them called the "Ping Pong Balls of the Fish World." It's nice pretending to be them for a short time...and the cats love to sit on my lap and watch too. It keeps them out of trouble and keeps me sane. I have plans to add a bunch of other fish and plants, but I'm doing it slowly, so I hopefully don't kill anything.

So, yeah, that's my big news. Nothing actually big, like I'm pregnant or changing jobs or undertaking a huge task like climbing Everest. I just figured it was about time to put another post up and let people know that I'm still alive.

5 comments:

Elin said...

Yay for a new post!! I too am horrible at email these days, but keep posting and I'll keep commenting!

Unknown said...

My presence on Blogger is remote at times...I'm glad to see a new post. I understand the loneliness, and that it gets harder to keep in touch...I have the same problem. Maybe some weekend off you could travel up to Wichita and we could have a girls weekend! Much love!

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